Take a second and imagine buying a new table. This table is very portable, is reasonably priced, and is easy to use. Now it won’t replace you big fancy dining room table, but as an everyday, quick-use table it is near perfect. Sounds good so far? Let’s get to the big ‘but’.

The manufacturer of the table has made you sign (or otherwise accept) a license agreement in order to purchase and use it. By the power of this agreement, the manufacturer, Banana Table Company, Inc., has the power to tell you what you can serve on this tablet. Because the president of Banana is an eclectic vegetarian, you cannot serve beef on your table.

Now let’s assume, for argument purposes, that you are a pretty good chef. You like creating dishes and you would like to serve them on this table. The “no beef” rule is ok with you. You are famous for making a wonderful pork dinner and you have plans to serve this dish on your table. But the head of Banana, Mr. Employments, hears of this and changes his agreement. He now says no meat of any kind is allowed and if you use any meat products in the creation of you dish, that is against the rules too. In fact you have to use his tools and only his tools in the preparation of any dish you serve on YOUR table.

None of you reading this would accept or tolerate such behavior. Not for a table you own. It’s your table. You should be able to serve what you want on it and prepare food in any manner with any tools you wish to use. What we would not allow with a table, we all very willingly accept with our cell phones and tablets.

Most of either have never considered or are willing to accept Apple’s policy when it comes to Apps for our ‘i’ products. Few of you reading this are developers who have to deal with Apple’s fickle finger of App fate. In truth most of you are happy that Apple acts as an App gatekeeper. Only the best, most secure, most robust Apps ever make it to the App Store (supposedly).

Being the App Store Guardian wasn’t good enough for Steve Jobs though. In an act borne out of only extreme hubris, Apple changed their developer’s agreement to allow only Apps developed on accepted platforms with approved tools. In other words, Apple barred any App not developed using their development tools. This is a line which Apple may not be unable to cross and it may cost them.

Many feel that Apple’s beef is only with Adobe and that may in fact be true. But in deciding how Apps are created, Apple may have crossed a line into the world of anti-trust violations. Already there have been reports that the US government is at least turning their eye toward Apple, and some feel that Apple will soon change the language in their developer’s agreement again to keep the government from becoming “too” interested.

Despite the open letter Steve Jobs wrote blasting Adobe’s Flash product, Apple’s position is getting ever more tenuous. The whole App approval process is a joke, often Apps get rejected for the most cryptic and ethereal of reasons. Smaller developers feel the sting of rejection far more often than bigger companies (who have lawyers). In a move showing Apple’s hypocrisy, they removed most Apps that contained “too much skin,” but curiously left the Playboy and Sports Illustrated Apps alone.

Speaking of Mr. Jobs’ open letter that is a letter only an attorney could be proud of. Full of half truths, and obvious omissions, one could rightly question the sanity of the person who wrote it. If Flash-produced Apps are not of a quality acceptable to enter the App store, why not just reject the App. Isn’t that what the whole App approval process is for? Accusing Adobe Flash of being a closed standard, well isn’t that the post calling the kettle black. Both the iPhone and the iPad are “closed” systems. The fact that you can only run “approved” Apps is the only proof you need of that. IT IS MY TABLE(t) I SHOULD BE ABLE TO RUN WHAT I WANT ON IT.

I am glad that the government is finally considering taking steps to curb Apple’s clearly monopolistic practices. Microsoft could not do what for years Apple has gotten away with. Maybe my dream of Apple’s whole business will finally come true with the hardware and software divisions of the company being split into two separate companies. Then again maybe not, as it seemed not to work out so well for Palm.

Enough of my ranting now go read Stephen Hawking. He is smarter than you and I and the way he explains how time travel may be possible in layman’s terms is masterful.

-Joshua Tarrats